By Audra Beberman
Chapter Two
"Jax," Bobbie began in a hesitant tone, "Jerry isn't breathing on his own. His lungs are incapable of helping him breathe without a machine. They put him in a drug-induced state of unconsciousness. He must have been in shock and terrible pain when they brought him in." She looked distinctly worried and Jax cringed inwardly at the thought of the suffering that Jerry might have had to deal with. "It seems they switched meds in the middle of the night while we were watching the plane burn." Jax contemplated yet another fire. Bobbie continued, "He's on a ventilator because whatever chemical was used in the fire irritated his lungs and caused them to fill with fluid. It's as though he were drowning." Drowning, Jax thought, that had a familiar ring to it.
"According to the chart, he has what's known as Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome or ARDS. It has about a forty-percent survival rate as I recall. So, if his lungs don't respond to the nitric oxide he's being given through the ventilator, and his burns get infected and don't respond to the antibiotics he could possibly die." For a second, Jax forgot to be horrified at the words and he simply admired the legendary Spencer backbone. She told the ugly truth just the way it was, without euphemistic phrasing or intentional omission. She shed one perfectly shaped tear and Jax took her hand. No wonder the doctor had couched her diagnosis in harmless sounding cliches.
"Bobbie, he's strong. He always wins no matter what the odds of success are. As a matter of fact he likes to beat the odds. Remember how he saved Alexis and me in the Sahara? In the midst of a two-day sandstorm? Besides, he has so much to live for - you and Lucas and Candy. He'll fight -- he has to." Jax paused and smiled a small, tight smile as he wiped away the tears on Bobbie's cheek, "Not to mention what a snit he'd been in if he didn't live to see my wedding day." Jax thought of Chloe for the thousandth time in twenty-four hours. She was safely hidden away until this unusual turn of events came to its conclusion - one way or the other.
More than halfway around the world, Chloe Morgan pouted angrily at the yellow sun that was rising to scald the Sahara Desert another day. She stood at the window in her suite at the royal palace and wished for the quick demise of whomever or whatever Jax and Jerry were hunting - she had a wedding to plan!
In a spot on a line that ran horizontally across the planet from Chloe Morgan, Lucas Jones was holding his infant sister in his lap. His ten-year-old heart was aching from missing his mother and stepfather. His stepfather's parents, the only grandparents he'd ever known, had woken him in the middle of the night and told him they were going somewhere safe and far away until Mom and Dad could come for them. He sensed fear and apprehension in the faces and manner of the people that he'd grown to love and trust. He knew it was up to him to take care of Candy. Dad had made it clear to him. Lucas scrunched his eyebrows as he formed a mental picture of Jerry four days previously.
"Lucas, you know what I'm going to say."
"Yes. Take care of Mom and Candy."
"Exactly."
His stepfather's smile had been full of pleasure and admiration. Jerry always made him feel like an equal, he never treats me like a baby. They always had this talk before Dad went away on a trip. It was still new and exciting, and a little sad, to call Jerry "Dad," instead of Tony.Lucas always responded by saying,
"Why can't I go with you? I want to help you. Mom doesn't need me. Candy doesn't even know who I am yet.""I agree. Your mom doesn't need you to take care of her, but I do. And as for Candace, she knows you... she loves you and she depends on you to tell her what's happening since she's too little to figure it out herself."
Jerry had held open his arms, and although he felt he was a little too old, Lucas had flung himself gratefully into the arms of the man he worshiped like a superhero. Lucas looked over his stepfather's shoulder to see his mother silently standing in the doorway. Her eyes were shiny as if she had cried or was going to. Candy was in her bouncy seat thing and looked like she might cry too. Lucas stood straighter and picked up Candy's rattle to entertain her while Jerry and his mother said goodbye.Two days later, Uncle Jax and Mom left him too. They were in such a hurry that they never even said goodbye. Now Grandpa John and Lady Jane said they had to go away also, but Lucas and Candace were going with them. So Lucas had bravely packed up a suitcase full of clothes and his baseball glove and ball - the ones Jerry had given him almost three years before. He made his grandfather promise to have someone look after Thunder, his pony, and he went into help Lady Jane pack for Candace
because he knew all of her favorite things by heart.Now here he sat in a strange house in a strange place, with Candy on his lap. "Don't worry Candy," he said as the baby began to fidget. "I'm here. Mom and Dad will be here to get us soon. Uncle Jax will come with a new game or a book and he'll play with us all day. He'll even bring Auntie Chloe. She's the one who smells so pretty, remember? You'll see. They'll be here soon." He repeated the words like a mantra to soothe the baby. Lucas wished he himself could believe what he said to his sister.
From the balcony above the living room John and Jane Jacks looked at their step-grandson with pride and sadness. Soon. It was a word that built false hope, and even more false comfort. They left Lucas and Candy alone, yet secretly guarded, and went to try and figure out the barrage of messages and encrypted notes on the computer that Jerry had been carrying with him when he'd been hurt. The delivery had been made via a discreet, international courier an hour before. They didn't have much time to waste.
The sun was setting in New Mexico over the Sangre de Cristo Mountains, where Barbara Jean Jacks stood staring sightlessly out a hospital window, much the same as Chloe stood at the palace window a world away. Bobbie's mind whirled with the information that Jax felt it was necessary to tell her in order to make her come with him to Jerry's side. Fire and ice. The crimes described her relationship with Jerry perfectly. As much as she loved the man, Jerry infuriated her at the same time he enflamed her. Had she known what he was up to the past ten months, she would have stopped him - or at least tried to stop him. Not much short of death could stop one of the Jacks brothers when he was on a roll. Unfortunately, the next few hours would prove if Jerry had finally taken his passion for adventure one step too far. Bobbie sighed as she turned from the window. Realistically she understood that Jerry's chances were slim. But he had proven that winning against insurmountable odds was the thing he did best. Jerry stirred slightly - probably a response to feelings of pain, or maybe a dream. Bobbie trembled to think he might be in agony, unable to express the pain. She also shook her head as she thought of the "accident" that had caused the burns that scared his extremities. Thankfully, his face had been spared. He had been wearing a fire-retardant suit as well - if nothing else, Jerry was a very talented planner. Always prepared, more like an all-American boy scout than Australian-by-way-of-Alaska scoundrel.
It was somewhat cheering that if he lived to see another sunrise, he could look out at the world with eyes that could see and lips that could smile. The damage to his lungs was severe, but with time and care they could function as well as they ever did. What harm was done to his larynx and vocal cords was indeterminate at the moment. The doctors who had performed the procedures that removed his clothes from places where they had practically melted into his skin said that he could have grafts and there was a new type of artificial skin that could fix the scarring, if he healed well enough on his own.
Being a nurse had its advantages. Bobbie could be objective and know that there was a slim chance, but since he was healthy overall, Jerry could survive this. Being a wife had its disadvantages. Her heart lay limp somewhere in the vicinity of her stomach. Her love and anguish had formed a lump impossible to swallow. They needed a miracle. He had to survive. For me, for Lucas, for Candy, for Jax. She ran her hands over her eyes and pressed her temples. An unremitting ache had begun about a day ago and she hadn't taken anything for it. Reaching for her overnight bag, she blindly rummaged around as she looked at Jerry's handsome features, which were marred by the machinery helping him to live. She thought she felt the cool roundness of the Exedrin bottle, but instead she came up with a bottle of Jerry's favorite cologne, probably forgotten at the bottom of this bag after their last vacation. Coincidentally that vacation had been to this same state, closer to the foot of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains, in Taos, where they had visited friends and skied. Or maybe not such a coincidence. Maybe the times that Jerry had disappeared were more than shopping expeditions for the gifts he brought the children... and me. Bobbie swallowed hard and forgot her headache as she lifted the cover of the cologne bottle, inhaled the fragrance and thought back to the first time she had noticed it...
She turned to look up after a shoe fell in front of her from the balcony and fire escape nine stories up on the Port Charles hotel. What she saw surprised her. A suede jacket was plummeting toward her. She plucked it from the air and caught a trace of spicy, masculine cologne. Immediately after that she detected the scent again, as the man who was wearing the cologne dropped in front of her and to the right of the shoe. When he straightened up from the crouch he had landed in, Bobbie was thunderstruck by the sight of an incredibly handsome man.
Confused but intrigued, Bobbie asked, "Pardon me, did you drop something?"
With the incredibly enigmatic grin she now took as his trademark he replied, "That's right! Nice of you to catch it!" He then handed her his other shoe and asked, "As long as you're there, would you mind?"
As she watched him dress he told her one of his now famous cock-and-bull stories about what he was doing climbing out of a ninth floor window when the hotel had elevators and doors in good working order. They hadn't even exchanged names at that first meeting, but he certainly had made an impression. Thinking of that first meeting inevitably led her to thinking about the first time he told her he loved her.
They'd had an embarrassing incident with Lucas the week before when he'd walked into Bobbie's bedroom unexpectedly. Being caught in the act of making love had disconcerted Jerry, but as a parent, Bobbie knew things like that happened. BJ had walked in on Tony and her
" Jerry?" Bobbie looked at him with a curious expression. "I'll just be downstairs," he whispered. "Hi... what's your hurry?" "Uh, I've got something to read," he said and gestured to a red shopping bag with a gold book shop logo on it. "I have been known to look at a book." He said in response to Bobbie's skeptical glance. Why are we being so quiet?" Bobbie whispered back. "Lucas didn't come home for lunch?" He looked over his shoulder as if Lucas was going to pop up from behind the couch or the from under the table. She whispered back, "No. Why? Are you hiding from Lucas?" "Of course not, I just want to be prepared. Now you say Lucas is fine after the other day." "Ah, when he walked in on us." Understanding was emerging. "Children need detailed and factual answers. Not evasions and half-truths about storks and cabbage patches," Jerry announced with a straight face. "Whom are you quoting, what's in the bag?" Jerry sheepishly pulled out a copy of Talking to Your Child About Sex. Bobbie took the book from him and started to flip through it. Her eyes widened at the graphic drawings. "If you want to blow up something, you go to a demolitions expert. If you want to tell an eight-year-old about sex..." he trailed of and motioned to the book in Bobbie's hands. "Yeah, I think I'd rather the demolitions expert." Bobbie said in a mildly panicked tone. "Look, I don't plan on showing him any of the illustrations. All right?" "You know, Jerry, I just feel there should be some middle ground between the cabbage patch and this!" Bobbie had sat on the arm of the couch and looked at Jerry in a bewildered way. He looked back at her from his perch on the coffee table. She could see a plan was whirring in his head. "I've got two more books. I'll do a complete study. I won't say a word until you've given me your approval that you like the highlights of the presentation, so to speak." "Are you volunteering to have a man-to-man with Lucas about sex?" Bobbie had to suppress a giggle. Jerry frowned, "I'm just trying to repair the damage I did." "He's not damaged. Promise." "Yeah, but still, I could have been dressed and downstairs in my own bed in my own apartment long before he came in." "Jerry, he wasn't even supposed to be home that night. It wasn't your fault. Does the book also say we're supposed to break the land-speed record for making love?" "I was dawdling, you knew I was, don't pretend you didn't. I had something to say and I didn't know how to go about it." "What was that?" Bobbie asked slyly, knowing, but wanting to hear it. "That doesn't mean I know how to go about it now, either." Jerry looked frustrated. "Jerry, if you have this much trouble telling me what's on your mind, how are you ever going to talk to Lucas?" "That doesn't even compare, I'd have no trouble telling Lucas I love him!" Jerry looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck. He bowed his head and covered his face with his hands. "Now look what I've done." "Don't get upset. We can start over." Bobbie said as a shot of joy swept through her veins. "I think the punch line is pretty much out there," he replied in a dejected tone. "It's not like a joke, it's not spoiled. Besides, I'm not one hundred percent sure of what you meant." What she hoped he'd meant was one thing, what he actually meant could be quite different "Bobbie, when I first saw you, when I dropped my clothes on you from the hotel fire escape..." they both laughed. "I remember." "I wouldn't exactly say it was... love at first sight. But I did think... you were hot at first sight. And I mean that sincerely." Bobbie laughed. "Maybe I should do it this way." Jerry picked another book from his bag and looked for a page he'd bent the corner of. He quoted from a poem by Robert Herrick, taking a little liberty with the poet's lover's name. "Whenas in silks my Bobbie goes; Then, then methinks, how sweetly flows; That liquefaction of her clothes..." He trailed off. "Well that's a rip-off, the word 'love' isn't even in that poem." Jerry looked forlorn and Bobbie took the book from him then. "Jerry, I love you, but could we put the book away?" Startled, Jerry asked, "What did you just say?" "I said... I love you. "How can you do that? Just say it as if it's something you do everyday?"
Jerry continued, "I've only ever used that word with people who could donate me a kidney, Mother, Father, Jax. And even then if I gave them a nickel for every time I've said it they could maybe get a half-hour in a parking meter."
"Then what makes you want to say it to me?"
"You. Everything about you," he said earnestly. "There's no other word left. I love you, Bobbie." He paused and drew her closer to his side. Stunned, Bobbie had pulled away from him to look into his eyes. He had been serious and shy all at once. This dynamic, six-foot man was cowed by his own words, and she had the power to make him glad or make him regret what he said.
Without the cover of humor and the euphemisms he usually used to disguise his feelings for her, he had been simple and direct. It was a refreshingly new side of Jerry, the one that was vulnerable and fiercely self-protective. Bobbie never wanted to hurt him and didn't want him to regret his choice in opening up and loving her. Later that month, their newly forged love was tested in a very embarrassing way.
Something happened at the Sixth Annual Nurses Ball, the second one they had spent together. A tape of their making love in the hospital boardroom showed up on the video screens at the Nurse's Ball in place of Emily Quartermaine's AIDS documentary. Holding her head high, although her adult daughter Carly had been furious and tried to make her leave, Bobbie continued with her performance. She caught Jerry's eye to show him she was all right. He looked on the verge of murder. She hoped he hadn't been humiliated. Her fears were allayed when he found her after her number. Jerry was mostly concerned for her feelings, but she had told him that she wasn't sorry and neither should he be sorry.
They had gone home to the Brownstone and reminisced about the previous year... the ups and the downs, the highs and the lows. That particular "low" night had paled in comparison to Jerry being in jail or the night Brenda died. They talked about how she had put him off and tortured him with her hard-to-get act. This year Jerry thoughtfully supplied a lovely bottle of champagne much like he had the previous year. Although this time, he had it waiting in a cooler at her bedside. He had confided later while they were in that bed, he had been positive this year's bottle would be put to good use... and it had. Now Bobbie smiled when she thought about the imaginative uses they had found...
Jerry had knocked at her bedroom door, waiting patiently for her to answer it. When she did, he leaned on the doorway moulding and said with feigned wide-eyed innocence, "I brought champagne, no broken hand this time. Can I come in?"
Just for old time's sake she teased him, "No!" Of course, Jerry being Jerry, he followed her into the bedroom anyway.
"It's after midnight. Would you go home!" She said to him in exactly the same way as she had the year before.
"I am home, remember?" He came towards her with that disarming smile plastered on his face.
"This may be your address, but this is not your apartment."
"I'd like to change that, with your help." It was her turn to be teased and puzzled. He took her small hand in both of his. The smile ran away from his face and was replaced with a mask of seriousness that so rarely resided there. "No woman has ever excited me the way you do, Bobbie. No woman has ever crawled inside my heart the way you have. You know I love you."
She reached up to touch his cheek with her hand. He turned his lips to the center of her palm and kissed her open hand. On an excited breath she whispered, "I love you, too."
Jerry turned her hand over and kissed the back. "Well, since we seem to agree, I have a question I'd like an answer to."
"Yes?" Bobbie was puzzled.
"That's the answer I want - but I'd like to ask the question first!"
Jerry had smiled. First a confession of love, and then he did the most surprising thing he'd ever done: he proposed."Bobbie,"
he never could bring himself to call her Barbara, he said it reminded him too much of her former husband, "I love you in a way I've never loved another person in my entire life. And I love Lucas in a way I never thought I could love a child except for Jax when he was small. If you'll agree, I'd like to love the both of you for the rest of your lives. I want us to be a family, a real family. With more children, and vacations and Christmases and birthdays and ponies and sunsets and I want to have all those things with you beside me. Will you say you'll be mine always? Will you marry me?"Bobbie bit her lip to keep from screaming her anguish in spite of the happy memories. She toyed absently with her flawless, emerald-cut diamond engagement ring. Regaining her composure, she whispered, "I love you. Always," to Jerry's still form. But the reality of the moment was too much for her. She pressed her eyelids together with the tips of her fingers to prevent the flood of tears from escaping. But the tears managed to slip from beneath her closed eyelids anyway. She was so absorbed in the glow of the past, and the ache of the present that she missed the fluttering of Jerry's eyelids...
